我的最爱－－红烧狮子头……哈哈～～～～

The answer to the query posed in the above headline might seem obvious: "Hell no!" We tend to think that the strength of romantic love is directly proportional to how irrational it is. Indeed, most people would probably argue that a romantic relationship based on reason couldn't be true love at all.

题目提出的问题的答案似乎很明显“天！当然不！”。我们倾向于认为浪漫爱情的力量大小直接取决于它不理性的程度。实际上，大多数人都可能认为，建立于理性基础之上的浪漫感情根本上就不能算是真正的爱情。

But what exactly do we mean when we describe love as irrational? There are three basic definitions, all related. First, we mean that the person is not in control of their feelings but is controlled by them. Yet this is not an adequate explanation, for we all are controlled by our feelings. However, love is one of three emotions we generally consider 'uncontrollable', along with rage and hate. But when it comes to romance, letting yourself be controlled by your feelings is a very rational act, as I shall show.

但是我们说爱情是非理性的时候，到底意味着什么呢？有三个基本的相关概念。首先，我们认为人不能控制感情，而被感情控制。但这个解释并不够，因为我们都被自己的感情控制着。但是，爱情是我们通常认为“不可控制”的三大感情之一，此外还有愤怒和仇恨。然而谈到爱情的时候，让自己受控于你的感情是非常理性的做法，我会解释这一点。

Secondly, we mean that a person not acting in their own best interests. Such acts may range from romantic gestures such as buying red roses to neurotic acts like committing suicide if the relationship ends. In either case, the person expends emotional and/or material resources on someone else instead of himself. But, as we shall see, those resources are actually investments for which the persons involved expect to earn a greater reward for themselves.

其次，我们认为人们并没有遵循利益最大化原则行事。这样的行为包括购买红玫瑰等浪漫举动到爱情失败自杀这样的神经质举动。在这两种情况下，当事人把感情或者物质资源倾泻于他人之上，而不是自身。不过我们看到，这些资源实际上是当事人为获取更大回报而进行的投资。

Finally, love is considered irrational when a person falls for someone clearly unsuitable for them or someone who just treats them badly. Again, we define this as irrational behaviour because the person concerned is not seeking their best interests. And again, we shall see that there is a logic behind even such pointless or self-destructive behaviour.

最后，一个人爱上显然不适合他或者对他很不好的人的时候，人们认为这种感情是不理性的。这里我们之所以再次把它当做不理性行为是因为，当事人并没有追求自己的最大利益。但是同样我们能看到即便这种无目的或自我毁灭的行为也有其逻辑性。

Love, you see, is only apparently irrational. Viewed from the biological, sociological, and even political perspective, romantic love is actually based on a clear and even pragmatic logic. It is only in the emotional arena that the strong passions we call love seem to be irrational yet, paradoxical as it may seem, this very irrationality is part of a wider rationale.

你看，爱情只不过是表面上非理性而已。从生物学、社会学甚至政治学的角度看，浪漫爱情实质上是基于清晰甚至实用的逻辑判断之上。只有在感情领域，我们叫做爱情的这种强烈冲动看上去非理性，但是自相矛盾的是，这种极端的非理性其实是更广意义的理性的一部分。

Let's start with the most fundamental perspective: biology. Like all other organisms, human beings are made up of genes. Genes have a single, simple purpose: to reproduce themselves. A complex organism like homo sapien sapiens can choose not to do what our genes want. But celibate people who are so by choice are among the smallest minorities on the planet. (Indeed, if we are to judge from recent reports about the Catholic Church, even celibates often aren't celibate.) But even when non-celibate people have sex and use condoms or birth control pills, they are still following their genes' directive to reproduce: it is just that they have made a higher-level choice to prevent the intended consequences of that directive. But sex is still a pleasure. Indeed, it is one of the greatest pleasures known to man (and, lately, women have been discovering this too.) Giving the organism orgasms is just one method our genes use to increase their chances of reproduction, and it is a very effective one. But orgasm isn't enough: if it were, people would be content to masturbate for, as Woody Allen put it, "Masturbation is sex with someone you love."

让我们先从最根本的角度研究一下：生物学。和所有有机体一样，人类是基因组成的。基因唯一简单的目的就是：自我复制。复杂生物如“智人种”能决定不按照基因的目的做。但是自愿独身的人只是星球上人口的最小一群。（事实上如果看一下天主教最近的报告，独身主义者其实也通常并不独身）。但是即便非独身人士做爱时使用避孕套或者避孕药，他们依然遵循了基因自我复制的指令：只不过他们做了更高级的选择来防止这一指令预期达到的目的而已。但是做爱还是令人愉悦的。事实上，它是男人最大的享受（并且，近来女人也开始发现这一享受了）。由于有机物的高潮只是我们的基因提高繁殖机会的手段之一，并且非常有效。但是高潮还不够：如果够的话，人们只要手淫就满足了，正如Woody Allen所说：“手淫就是和你爱的人做爱。”

However, our genes have other tricks up their cellular sleeves. The biological process outlined above might not seem very romantic, because it isn't. Yet romantic love is always sexual. You will hear religious people argue that a man and a woman can have a romantic relationship which is purely spiritual. But this is a meaningless assertion. Does a spiritual relationship mean that the man and woman in question have sexual feelings for each other, but suppress any expression of same? If so, in what way does this make the relationship romantic? Surely, the romance lies in the sexuality, expressed or otherwise. Without that, the relationship is no different from a close friendship.

然而，我们的基因还有一些别的花招。上面提到的生理过程看上去不那么浪漫，因为它根本就不浪漫。但是浪漫爱情永远是性欲的。你或许听一些宗教人士说，男女之间可以建立完全精神性的浪漫关系。但是这是个没有意义的论断。精神关系是否意味着当事人男女彼此有性的欲望，但是同时却压抑了这种欲望的释放呢？如果这样的话，这样怎么能让关系浪漫起来呢？肯定的，浪漫存在于性欲之中，不论表达出来与否。没有这个，这种关系和好朋友关系没有区别。

When one examines what attracts men and women to one another, the biological component is inescapable. Generally, men like women who have the attributes which reflect health and fertility, while women like men who have attributes which reflect health and status. Interestingly, though, the qualities that both men rate first are apparently non-biological. In a study of over10,000 people across 37 cultures, the psychologist David Buss found that both men and woman rate intelligence and kindness as the foremost qualities they look for in a mate. But even this makes genetic sense: kindness and intelligence indicate the psychological and social qualities which are essential for human beings to successfully rear their offspring.

我们研究什么把男女吸引在一起的问题时，生理因素是不可回避的。通常男人喜欢健康和多产的女人，而女人则喜欢健康和有地位的男人。有意思的是，人们首先关注的素质看上去都不是生理性的。对37个不同文化环境中的10000多名人士进行的调查中，心理学家David Buss发现，男人女人都把智慧和善良作为寻找伴侣最重要的指标。但是这也符合基因规律：善良和智慧代表了人类能否成功抚养后代的心理和社会因素。

It is here that the most irrational aspect of love comes in: where our feelings take total control of us. The rationale behind this has to do with a concept ominously called "The Doomsday Machine." The logic of the concept is this: that if you have a weapon which will automatically destroy your enemy if he attacks you, your safety is naturally guaranteed. Emotions work in exactly the same fashion: they are a guarantee of sincerity, for good or ill, since once you are in their grip you will carry through regardless of logic or reason. What better way to persuade a potential mate of your dependability, then, than to demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have power over you? Reasoned argument cannot accomplish this, unless you're a Vulcan (and even Mr. Spock had his 'amok time'.) But a display of strong feelings is incontrovertible proof of sincerity. Of course, the feelings must be uncalculated, for humans are great lie detectors. And the other person must also be attracted to you in the first place, or else the strongest passions will arouse no response save repulsion.

这里我们要讨论到爱情最不理性的因素：感情完全控制我们的时候。它背后的原因是一个有着不祥姓名的“世界末日机器”的概念。这一概念的逻辑是：如果你拥有自动摧毁进攻你的敌人的武器，你的安全自然就得到了保障。感情也是这样发挥作用的：他们是真诚的保证，不管好坏，一旦你被他们掌握，你就会坚持到底，不考虑逻辑或者理智。除了展示你依靠的潜在伴侣对你的力量的疑惑阴影之外，还有什么更好的途径说服他呢？

With this biological basis, it is not surprising to discover that, contrary to what many sociologists still argue, romantic love is not just an invention of French poets in the Middle Ages. On the contrary, romantic love exists in all cultures ever studied. Even in those societies where arranged marriages are the norm, the marriages usually take place with the consent of the young people concerned. Where it does not, it is often because the marriage has political and/or economic purposes, such as an alliance between two powerful families. Romantic love is especially despised in authoritarian or caste-conscious societies, for love is democratic and thus interferes with power plays. Women want husbands and lovers rather than soldiers or workaholics. This is very inconvenient to the rulers and explains why religions have always tried to assert authority over sex and marriage.

在这一生理学基础上，毫不奇怪我们可以发现与许多社会学家的看法相反的是，浪漫爱情不仅仅是中世纪法国诗人的发明，而存在于所有的文化之中。哪怕在那些包办婚姻盛行的社会里，婚姻也通常需要得到相关年轻人的认可。如果不是这样，那通常是因为婚姻本身具有政治或经济因素，比如两大世家的联姻。在独裁或者等级鲜明的社会中，浪漫爱情受到鄙视，因为爱情是民主的，从而会干涉权力游戏。女人想要的是丈夫和爱人，而不是士兵或者工作狂。这对统治者来说非常不便，也解释了为什么宗教老是努力去控制性和婚姻。

The biological picture is not all rosy, of course. The same imperatives which make romantic love so powerful also ensure that romantic love cools rapidly once its purposes have been achieved. As Mark Twain succinctly put it, "Familiarity breeds contempt - and children." In all societies where divorce is legal, the modal time when divorce occurs is the same: about four years. It is not coincidental that this is the age when human infants no longer need as much care and attention from two parents. Indeed, so finely tuned is this evolutionary adaptation that even the chemistry of sexual attraction changes in about four years: the hormones like phenythelamine which initially give us that ecstatic feeling change to a more comfortable contentment of endorphins. Those who do not adapt to this change, who are in effect 'hooked' on the thrill of infatuation, either leave their partners or become habitually unfaithful in order to recapture the excitement of first romance. What keeps marriage satisfying after that initial period is not romantic love, but the other factors which go into a relationship: companionship, security, affection, caring, habit, shared interests and so on. Initially, romantic passion leads to the development of these secondary traits. After the passion cools, it is these traits which keep the romance alive (for, remember, we are not slaves to our biology).

当然这幅生理学图画不是那么柔情。使得浪漫爱情如此强大的因素在其目的达到之后也可以迅速地使爱情降温。正如马克 吐温言简意赅地指出的：“亲昵产生鄙夷－还有孩子”。在所有离婚合法的社会中，离婚发生的时间通常都一样：约四年。这个时间与婴儿不再需要父母太多精力照顾的时间相同并非巧合。实际上，这一演变过程如此精确，使得双方的性吸引力也在四年左右发生变化：最初给我们绝佳感受的荷尔蒙开始演变成更舒适的满足感。那些没有做出相应调整的，沉溺于这种感受的人，最后会或与伴侣分手，或变得习惯性不忠从而重新获得初次浪漫带来的刺激。最初阶段过后保证婚姻美满的因素不是浪漫爱情，而是别的因素：伴侣关系，安全感，感情，关切，习惯，共同利益等等。最初的浪漫感情导致了这些第二阶段因素的发展。当激情冷却后，这些因素可以保证浪漫爱情存活下去（记住，因为我们并不是生物学的奴隶）。

But since emotions are part of our biology, it is obvious that they too must fall within the biological rationale. This might not seem to be the case when we consider how foolishly love has made every one of us act at some point. But if love was truly irrational, then the old saying that opposites attract would be true. Of course, it is not. Opposites hardly ever attract. Even when they appear to do so, a close examination of the persons involved will discover deeper similarities which outweigh the apparent differences. Indeed, this is one significant advantage which Trinidadian lovers have over persons from less heterogeneous societies: once we do not shut ourselves off from the wider culture, we naturally learn that the important qualities of a human being lie beyond race, religion, ethnicity and class. Even so, most people do choose mates from their own social class, own ethnic group, own religion, similar educational level, and even similar level of attractiveness. Of course, in this last area, the biological imperative once again comes into play: when you see a beautiful woman with an unprepossessing man, he would almost always have status, usually in the form of money. It is a trade off: her fertility for his resources. You must bear in mind that men and women are forced by biology to maximize their genetic chances of reproduction in different ways: a man has a better chance of preserving his genes by impregnating as many women as he can; a woman has a better chance of preserving her genes by having children for a man who is able to take care of her children. Hence, also, the reason men are more likely to be unfaithful than women.

但是既然感情是我们生理学的一部分，显然它们也必须符合生理规律。或许我们考虑到爱情可以让我们在某些时候变得愚蠢这一点时会认为未必如此。但是如果爱情真的是非理性的，那么古老说法“异性相吸”就是正确的。当然，这种说法不正确。异性几乎从不相吸。即便看上去如此，根据对相关人进行密切研究，更深层的共同点超过了表面上的分歧。实际上，特立尼达的情人们有较多的来自非异性恋社会就是一个显著优势：一旦我们不拒绝了解更广阔的文化，我们就会很自然地了解人类在人种、宗教、种族和阶级之外的其它重要因素。即便如此，大多数人还是在与自己具有相同阶级、种族、宗教、类似教育背景，甚至类似魅力水平的人群中挑选自己的伴侣。当然，在最后一个人群中，生理因素再度发挥作用：如果一个美女嫁给了其貌不扬的男人，那么他几乎总是有地位的，通常是以金钱的形式表现出来。这是一种交易：她的性繁殖力换取他的资源。要牢牢记住，男女受生理因素的影响通过不同途径来实现自身基因繁殖机会的最大化：男人可以通过使尽可能多的女人怀孕来扩大保存自己基因的机会；女人通过找到一个能照顾好她孩子的男人来保存自己的基因。因此也就说明了男人要比女人更容易不忠的原因。

Since, therefore, biology is so pragmatic, why does romance have such a grip on our minds, hearts and culture? Well, it is precisely because biology is so pragmatic. Human beings are biological creatures first, emotional creatures second, and mental creatures third. But, because we are so complex, the three are all tied together. By creating the romantic illusion, our biology makes us want to reproduce and to take care of our mates and offspring. Of course, understanding this is no help in dealing with tabanca, although it might give us a more philosophical view of heartbreak. Our biology has no concern for our higher-level desires, like affection or fidelity or emotional comfort. At the same time, we also control our biological imperatives: we can choose not to reproduce without giving up any of our higher-level needs.

所以既然生理因素如此的实用主义至上，为什么浪漫爱情能如此地控制我们的思想、感情和文化呢？这完全是因为生理因素就是实用主义至上的。人类首先是生物，其次是感情动物，再次是心理动物。但是，因为我们如此复杂，这三个因素纠集在一起。通过创造浪漫的幻觉，我们的生物体使得我们乐于繁殖并照顾自己的伴侣和后代。当然，了解这点无助于失恋导致的极端痛苦问题的解决，虽然它能让我们更好地了解哲学意义上的心碎。我们的生理因素不考虑更高层面的需求，例如感情、忠贞或者情感安慰。同时，我们还控制了自己的心理因素：我们能在不放弃任何高层次需求的同时选择不繁殖后代。

It is here that we discover the irony of the romantic illusion: because we are just as much mental creatures as we are biological, the illusion becomes real. How could it not? What our mind believes to be real is real within our minds. Romance, in its essence, has no concrete reality . But it is a concept which is universal because it has biological uses. To be sure, this makes a lifelong relationship "unnatural", in the biological sense. Yet there are many couples who have been together for decades and who, even after the first flame of romance has died, still keep a warm fire going. In so doing, they have made themselves better and happier people - and what could be more rational than that?

在本文我们发现了浪漫幻觉的可嘲之处：因为我们是动物的同时也是心理生物，幻觉就变得真实了。它怎么会不变得真实呢？我们的思想把它内部的东西认为是真实的。浪漫从本质上来说没有实质性的真实因素。但是它是一个放之四海而皆准的概念，因为它有生理学的用处。完全可以确信，从生理学角度来看，珍爱一生是“不自然”的。但是有许多对爱人共度几十年光阴，甚至在最初的浪漫火焰衰减之后，仍然保持了温暖的火苗。这样他们就使自己成为了更好的更幸福的人－还有什么比这个更理性呢？

最近朋友之间感情的挫折新闻好多好多！！为他们祈祷把!祈祷那些么mm gg的帅哥靓妹们 早日找到自己的归宿！那些闹别扭的情侣们 重归于好！那些很好的情侣and夫妻 更加如胶似漆  哈哈！！！

男人呀！好面子！女人呀！重感情！至少我这么认为的！所以么 为了面子问题 男人会不顾一切的去保全面子  （我就在干这活） 有时候心里清楚  也许是地狱，万劫不复！但是还会想，为了面子就冲吧！！！！反正我很年轻！！！！

女人呢？为了 一点点的不如意  要分手  要如何如何？其实大可不必！（不指任何人   哈哈  随便写写） 还是放下心态吧！！也许天空还是蓝的  地还是绿的  只有眼睛会欺骗视觉  头脑会欺骗感觉 舌头会欺骗味觉！！！

男人 女人  都在这个社会上转悠！也一直会转悠下去！！还是那句《无所谓》 谁会爱上谁！只要是相爱的  鉴定的走下去吧！！！有啥话 不可以说呢？

 

 

刚刚发觉的 还是中英双语的版本  

 

70后：工作狂基本上都是70后的。
80后：而我们，拒绝加班！
90后 ：拒绝上班！

2、70后：他们喜欢穿七匹狼或者猛龙牌子的衣服。
80后： 我们喜欢G-St 之类的。
90后 ：乞丐服，越花越好,越破越好..一个洞时尚，两个洞潮流，三个洞个性...

3、70后：他们唱k的时候只会乱吼──例如2002年的第一场雪，然后就拼命拉着你喝酒，不让你唱。
80后：Mic霸一般是我们。
90后 ：我们不止会唱，还会跳！

4、70后：他们的话题除了工作就是股票。
80后：我们的话题更多，有英超、魔兽……
90后 ：QQ等级，QQ秀...

5、70后：他们如果有笔记本，会喜欢到公众场合用。
80后：我们才不会背那么重的东西在身上。
90后 ：只要苹果笔记本，而且不止一台...

6、70后：他们喜欢喝红酒，一般是长城红酒。
80后：我们要么不喝酒，要么就喝啤酒。
90后 ：韩国果汁，日本汽水...

7、70后：他们无论任何时候，看到有站着的领导，都会马上给领导让座。
80后：我们崇尚上下级平等。
90后：天上地下，唯我独尊！

8、70后：他们娶老婆的时候想娶处女。
80后：我们觉得无所谓，只要相互感情好就可以了。
90后：结婚需要感情吗？..需要结婚吗？..

9、70后：他们觉得每个日本人、美国人、台湾人都想攻打中国。< BR>
80后：我们喜欢日本的连续剧、台湾的综艺节目、美国的大片。
90后：我要去日本，因为我是日系MM...

10、70后：他们希望中国用核弹把上面三个国家（地区）都灭了。
80后：我们希望和平。
90后：和我无关！打仗衣服会降价吗？那就打呗~~

11、70后：他们对服务员态度恶劣，或者言语上调戏女服务员。
80后：我们只在点菜和结帐时会跟服务员说话。
90后：从不和waitress说话，只会背后讨论她的衣服很土...

12、70后：他们有存款。
80后：我们负债。
90后：我们有老爸！

13、70后：他们会把房子买在番禺或者花都，然后每天早上花一个多小时乘车去上班。
80后：我们喜欢在公司附近租房子，每天骑车或走路去上班，就为了早上多睡一会。
90后：我们住哪里都可以，只要BF喜欢...

14、70后：他们结交有背景有地位的人。
80后：我们结交志趣相投的人。
90后：我们结交满身文身的帅哥！

15、70后：他们周末约客户去吃饭。
80后：我们周末约同学去踢球。
90后：一个礼拜７天周末，想做什么做什么！

16、70后：他们喝酒时喜欢跟别人干杯
80后：我们能喝多少喝多少，喝不下了，怎么也不肯再喝
90后：我不是随便喝酒的人，我随便喝起酒来不是人～

17、70后：他们的家进门要脱鞋。
80后：我们家进门不用脱鞋。
90后：我们上床睡觉都不脱鞋！

18、70后：他们五一、国庆去旅游，然后会在各个景点门口拍下很多V字手势的照片。
80后：我们五一、国庆在家睡觉，或者约朋友去唱k，去旅游，我们只会拍景色。
90后：我们天天是五一，国庆....取消五一，么关系...

19、70后：吃饭时，他们喜欢坐在老板旁边
80后：我们最好别坐在老板旁边，那才无拘无束
90后　：我是老板！

20、70后：他们跟陌生人在一起的时候喜欢找话题说。
80后：我们不太搭理陌生人，故意找话题不累么？
90后：你谁阿，穿这么土，死开～ 帅哥，交个朋友好嘛？～～

哈哈  好久没上msn了  就象好久没出差了……脚力在退化，笔杆子也在磨损
既然小资了！那就要说说“玩”的问题了！玩 要玩出个名堂，我们已经无法局限在比如说普陀区？比如说 上海市这样的小圈圈里了，这么小的环境，对我们来说，玩得很不尽兴！因为太熟悉了！hoho
……所以就得往外拓展，冲出松江，走向全国……哈哈……稍微盗版下“中国足协”
既然小资了！那就再说说“做”的问题吧！最近听到很多抱怨工作的人！单位里几乎各个都在抱怨，hoho……其实很正常！因为大家都没想明白一些道理！看着有些人拿着别人的作品品头论足，说这个不好那里如何如何的时候？我就在想，那叫作品吗？真的不叫！！我觉得作品的名字应该这么署名：美术总监z**！美术设计z**！文案z**（and so on z**为同一人）！一个只有小学文化程度的港督！要做这么多的职位，你说这个所谓的作品能好到哪里去呢？阿无软冒充金钢钻！还觉得"en……很不错！"最后再来个感叹“你行！我也行！”hoho……这就是此人的素描！小资吧！！hoho……其实就是这么一回事！还有什么好说的呢！至于其他的人么  只能说 混混日子！拿拿这个所谓小学文凭的傻帽发小来的一些些*粮，了一过日子咯！
既然小资了！那就在最后抒发抒发自己的感受吧！“啊！大海呀！都是水……”